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Just like you, I’m devastated. Just like you, I’m scared. And, just like you, I will fucking fight.

November 11, 2016

Note: I originally wrote this post on my business blog over at Create Balance (http://www.createbalancedlife.com/iwillfight/). But I wanted to share it here as well.

I have never wanted to tell anyone how to live their lives, where spend their time or what they values should be. I’ve never had the goal of telling anyone WHAT to do. But one of my missions is to help moms and dads live their values out day-to-day and to be the parents and people they want to be. I’ve seen how systems help us get some control over parts our lives, which is huge when so much feels out of our control.

Now is one of those times when I’m feeling that lack of control acutely. And I’m scared as hell, not just for myself, but for my kids, my friends, my family, and my loved ones.

I would never suggest that I have the answers for exactly how deal with this. But we all have to deal with it.

We all had to get up on Wednesday morning and explain to our kids what happened. We all have to put one foot in front of the other, even when we want to just curl up into a ball under our covers. For me, taking that action starts with my most basic of systems. Because, especially in the face of fear and anger and despair, I have felt the power of retreating to a system to guide me through the darkness.

Here is the system I’ve used to fight through every hard time I’ve encountered:

  • I start inward. I focus on my feelings, my thoughts, and I process those.
  • I connect closely. I connect with my loved ones, my friends, the people who are supportive. Yes, this means I’m in my “bubble.” But I need the support of my bubble before I do anything else.
  • I build outward. I embrace the two biggest weapons in the fight against despair: TRUTH and ACTION.

Here is what it looks like after a devastating result for my country:

I’m starting inward. I’m crying and ranting and hugging friends. I’m saying “what the fuck” a lot and sharing my anger at the many people in our nation who are racist, misogynist, homophobic and hateful. My husband pointed out that some people voted for Trump not because of those things, but despite them. I pointed out that that kind of act is essential the definition of privilege – the ability to cause harm to so many people just so you could “make a point” to the powers at the top. I’m not holding back. I’m owning my anger and letting it fuel me.

I’m connecting closely with family. I’m focusing a bit more on my kids. I’m neglecting work and other responsibilities to play with them, read books to them, and snuggle with them more. I’m hugging them more. I’m letting their hope and joy give me inspiration. My husband and I are holding hands a bit more and comforting each other often. We are strengthening some of the glue that holds our family together now, and will continue to help us weather the storm: the glue of compassion, love, caring and kindness.

I’m connecting closely with community. I’m hugging friends. I’m meeting with other women in safe spaces to air our fear and sorrow so that we can go on to fight another day. I’m joining up with social media groups who are going to fight the hatred and attacks against our social safety net that are coming. I’m gearing up to throw down with the next Trump supporter I see in my town (because they are here). But I’m gearing up through connection and solidarity. I’m letting my anger fuel us all.

I’m taking action. I’m gearing up to fucking fight. I’m neglecting my work, but I’m drafting a letter to my congress people imploring them to fight the Republican house and senate with the exact same obstinate shutdown of government that the Republicans did for the last 8 years. Not as payback. We need to do this to protect ALL Americans: women who need healthcare (like me), my children who rely on state-run programs for social and emotional support, my family and friends who fear for their lives because of hate, racism, and homophobia, and for our children and us who are going to start to feel the significant effects of climate change and will now have a country that is less prepared to deal with those ramifications. So, my two senators and my representative are going to get that letter from me. And then I’m going to do what I can to push the Democratic National Committee to mobilize to get house and senate seats in 2018. Along the way, I’m going to donate as much money as possible to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, both of which are already mobilizing to protect Americans against the onslaught of a hateful and unconstitutional Republican agenda.

DONATE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD HERE

DONATE TO THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION HERE

I’m taking action. One day at a time.

Next week I’m going to be running a 6 day “Get Focused” challenge. You are invited to join the Create Balance Community in this challenge – we would love to welcome you into the fold. I planned this challenge out when I thought I would be looking at a different reality on November 9th. But, as I said to folks in my group last night, I think all of us moms and dads need these tools more than ever.

We have to get focused on what matters most to us and our families so that we can gear up for the fight ahead. We need to spend time on the things that matter most to us to fuel our hope and belief in the power of good to overcome evil. We need to.

DONATE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD HERE

DONATE TO THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION HERE

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2 Comments
  1. Jenny Clark permalink

    Thank you for writing this! You gave me ideas on what I can actually do instead of just feeling helpless. You’re amazing, Marie!

  2. Anonymous permalink

    This is perfect. Thank you for this!

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